I came this night. This first night. A couple hours after posting my promise to this challenge. I came 6, maybe 7 times. Each was satisfying, the later ones shaking through my bones.
But it didn't feel like I was doing it for myself, it felt like I was doing it for this. Coming for a blog - for a reading. Having an orgasm for someone else (to read about) is a strange realization, isn't it. I wasn't with anyone, it wasn't intimate or transcendent. Yes, I came like a champ but for what... ?
Does it matter?
I didn't have an orgasm today, at least not as you imagine it - hands or toys on genitals - but rather experienced a deep physical release far from my cunt, on the opposite end of my body, in fact.
I have been wrought with anxiety and exhaustion; a bit of fear mixed with a wild uncertainty. Longing for something not present and unsure of the future.
I had a shot of tequila at the end of the day and it made me drunk off my ass for 20 min and then knocked me out hard. I was immediately hungover and when I got home I cried. I cried and cried and cried for about 15 soaking wet minutes. When it was finished I was replenished. Clearly my release yesterday needed to come from my eyeballs and not my cunt.
I'm feeling horny today though so I think for Day 3 I'll come down there, ifyouknowwhatimean. You know!