the dog never stopped barking. ever. like, ever. i don’t know why. i never could figure out what prompted him to bark so much. i wanted to punch the dog. clearly, i mean obviously, i wouldn’t PUNCH a dog but i need sleep. i needed to sleep. i mean, we all need sleep, right? so i tried ear plugs and sleeping pills and blah blah but mostly the dog just barked. seriously, it like, NEVER, slept.

anyways, the dog barked and then i got a boyfriend who snored a lot and i did punch him because, well, he isn’t an animal. my mom, she’s funny, and she always said “what an animal!” about him but that was a metaphor or whatever. well, not really because humans are literally animals but my boyfriend, well, my exboyfriend, he wasn’t an “animal” like a puppy so i could punch him for like, snoring, ALL THE TIME. and so i did. hard.