i bet ya said it like that when you were a kid too...
valentine's day (yesterday) is suppose to be a lamentable day for us single folk. apparently we are suppose to lie around in our grubbiest clothes, stuff our faces full of chocolate and bemoan our loneliness. while 2/3 of those things sound like a pretty rad way to spend a quiet thursday evening, i gotta say to "they" or whomever invented "super sad singles day" needs to go eat a bag of dicks. seriously. the whole bag. and in a really nasty, rather than sexy, way.
because here's the thing i've decided about valentine's day, or maybe what i hope we can all agree to about valentine's day-it should be a day to celebrate LOVE in general. to acknowledge love in all its beautiful multiplicities rather than stick people who aren't "in love" in some dire corner where we are just to suppose to stand, mascara running, and hope that next year we can join the love club.
i am single, 31, and have more love in my life than any one person deserves. my dear valentines' are abundant and fuck, i choo-choo-choose all of them!
so this gets me thinking: "bitch, if your life is so full of love why the fuck are you all over the internet looking for a boyfriend?"
and this is a real question i have to ask myself. because i love so many people. so many. deeply and intimately and in the way that would smash my heart into a zillion little pieces if they were gone. honestly.
i think this total love-fest in my heart, or at least the acknowledgement of it, began when i finished reading "the ethical slut". while i found it interesting i also found it dull and trite and incredibly bossy. too bossy for my liking actually... but the chapter that stuck with was the chapter on "single sluts" because it was about loving with an open heart and never being afraid of loving people-all kinds of people, not only the ones you have sex with (but them too, if you want!). period. and i agree! i think love begets love and loving, actually loving, heaps of people only makes you more open and receptive to even more love. and love, guys, is wicked. the rest of the book-well, we can chat about it later if you want. if you want to know what i think is a cool and more insightful book on poly-relationships i suggest you click RIGHT HERE! (it's a sexier read too...)
so, back to the question at hand, "love slut, if you're so full of love why the fuck are you all over the internet looking for a boyfriend?"
and here is the answer: companionship. i want to love a lot of people, and one person who i might love most (most of the time) and that i get to spend amount of time with. and hold hands with and cook dinner with and watch clean up after dinner and share my cat's affection with and do all that boring companion-y shit. that stuff. i'm not looking for love, i have that in spades, i am looking for my someone who i sleep beside and who i want to sleep beside. (c'mon, you know what i mean-we don't always fall asleep with people we really want to sleep beside). and maybe someone who loves me most in their world full of love too! love begets love and who ever i decide should be my companion better get this. not getting that is a pretty huge deal breaker.
so while i am looking for a nice solid companion to spend quiet times and loud times and in between times, i want us surrounded by love and not just clinging to each other desperately because we are each other's only chance. that makes me too sad.
so valentine's day-let's celebrate love in all it's beautiful craziness and leave the celebration of companionship to anniversaries and marriages and internet dating nightmare stories-er, success stories! because fuck...
I FUCKING LOVE LOVE!