In Defense of the (Gay) Biebs

I'm not a fan of the Biebs. I actually don't give any fucks what he does or does not do and what music he does or does not make. I don't care if the Biebs has sex with all the dudes or all the ladies or all the cats. Well, I sort of care about him fucking cats because they can't consent. But anyways, I truly give no fucks about him whatsoever...
but in case you live under a rock this is what Justin Bieber looks like:


So there I was, patiently waiting in front of a shoppers for my co-worker to finish grabbing lunch and absolutely minding my own business when this happens:

An older man in a wolf sweatshirt (proclaiming him love for Banff or Canmore or some equally mountainous Albertan city on the western edge of our province) approaches me with a look of sheer horror and sadness on his face. 

Man: A lady just told me that that kid, the one in the window over there, that Justin Bieber is gay! GAY!

Me: Oh, really? That's cool.

Man: What?

Me: It's cool! If Justin Bieber's gay that's good for him. I'm happy for him.

Man: What? That isn't good. Being gay isn't good. It isn't the way we were made.

Me: I'm sorry sir, I disagree. I think people are either born gay or not, I don't believe it's a choice.

...and this argument continued for a few minutes. He talked a lot about God and HEAVEN and HELL and finally I just said,

Me: Sir, I don't believe there is anything wrong with being gay. Period.

Man: (flustered) well, I don't think we'll ever agree about what will happen to those people when they meet God.

Me: No, we won't. Ever.

And so he walks away. Unimpressed and telling everyone who'll listen how horrific it was that I said aloud and genuinely believe that being gay is ok.

He didn't even ask what I think about Justin Bieber. He leaves the mall and goes outside, his tirade continuing and every time the door swings open I can hear him talking about the "girl in there who thinks it's ok to be gay!" CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!

But that isn't the end of the story...

A couple minutes later a woman who had seen the whole thing approaches:

Lady: Is that guy still around?

Me: He's outside telling anyone who'll listen that he can't believe I said it was ok to be gay.

Lady: It's lesbian.

Me: What?

Lady: Men are gay, women are lesbians.

Me: Oh, right.

Lady: Men are gay, you're a lesbian.

Me: What?

Lady: You're a lesbian.

Me: I'm not actually, I just think it's all cool! Whoever you are I'm cool with it, that's all I was trying to tell the guy.

Lady: It's ok. Calm down. It's ok that you're a lesbian.

Me: Thanks.

Lady: There's some guys I play bingo with who are gay. One of them is a bus driver! They make a LOT of money!

Me: More than me, I bet!

She begins to walk away.

Lady: That guy's an asshole.

I chuckle.

Me: He sure is!

The MAN enters again, trailing after a woman talking about how I am going to burn in hell along with Justin Bieber and all the other "gays and gay lovers who laugh in the face of their creator". The woman responded but I didn't hear what she said. His response, "Good! You're a believer too!"

And then my co-worker arrives on scene, lunch in hand and ready to go. I pick up my bag and off we go. I'm sort of confused about what has just happened but it's nice to know that that nice little lady in the mall thinks it's ok to be gay (and lesbian-and every other beautiful inborn expression of human sexuality) because you can still be a bus driver, play bingo with your friends and make a lot more money that a heteroflexible gal who works for an arts charity.

And you know, if Justin Bieber's gay I hope he is happy and loved because that's all I hope for anyone-even douchebag pop stars!